i really miss him.

you know he was a big part of my life.
my grandfather.alot of people see there grandparents like they would see there aunties or uncles or other parts of the family . but we had a sepical bond with ours.
he had elzimers.

it was hard. hard to have your grandfather not know or remember who you were.
it was hard to have him not remember who his own 7 children were.
it was hard to have him not remember his wife.
it was hard to have him forget every single thing about his life.

we would feed him, clothe him, care for him.

its harder for me my brothers and my cousin carmela cause we remember him before he got this illness, we had a closer bond to him then our other cousins did. and to watch him slowly go into a vegetated state over the years was hard.

we use to just laugh at the things he would say and do , because it was better to laugh then to cry.

i use to love it when i would sit on his lap and he would sing cella loona mezzo mare in my ear. and tell me he loved me. and just hold me. - thats what i miss most.

it would reminnd me of the times before he got sick.
he got sick when i was 8 btw.

when he died last year. i found it hard becauseeveryweekend we would go visit him , feed him , talk to him , and just be there with him. but we couldnt do that anymore. what i would give to say goodbye to him.

most of our funniest storys have been with him.

i remember when his sister, my 2nd aunty grazia died. he was at our house when we found out and he had no idea his sister had died , because if we told him he would forget 2 seconds later. we were all crying and we couldnt understand why .

another time , he was at a funeral and started to congratulate everyone.
you see my nonno was a very highly respected man, and when he got this awful illness people stopped going round to see him because they couldnt deal with the pain.

i miss the times he'd try feed us his food and put breadh in his coffee.
i miss the times he'd propose to my nonna.
i miss the times he'd sing and dance for us.
i just , well , i just miss him :(